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JOKES
Job Benefits
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay. She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five year's salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums." "I can't help but ask why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied. The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt." WorkThe population of this country is 237 million, 104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.A Common BumA robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?" "I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter. "Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..." Baseball HeatQ: Why does it get hot after baseball game? A: Because all the fans leave!
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Hagar the Horrible
Heathcliff